Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
