1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
