I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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