There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize