Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Girls should come with a carfax report
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
