let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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