did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We are two peas in an std pod
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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