Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
