i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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