so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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