shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
