dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
