he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Mom said you looked used
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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