Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
