I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
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