we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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