Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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