Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
