Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
