so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
