Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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