If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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