I don't remember. Are we still dating?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
