So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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