I think i sorta joined a cult last night
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
