oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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