it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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