Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
