Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
