is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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