Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
