Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want to make a zoo with you.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
