Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
