last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize