Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
