There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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