Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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