i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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