it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
