Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
