too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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