it was like his penis was on wheels.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
