Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
