we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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