this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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