Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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