There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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