Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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