took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
