My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
did you just send me my own nude
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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