Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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