I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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