She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
me + whiskey = a bad person
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
