Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
