I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize