guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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