have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
