I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
