she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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