just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
