I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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