You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
