Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
