everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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