she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
