grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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