please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
