Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
